Sad, I know.
I believe, I have steadily held a relationship with the Lord...but, it has been that kind of relationship you have where you were best friends in high school and then as you grow older, you call the person up every now and then to have coffee and chat for a bit. You catch-up during your coffee date...sometimes you decide to hang-out a little more frequently and sometimes life is just too busy at that, so you just decide to call for another coffee date a couple more months down the road to catch-up again.
I, honestly, have recently been blaming my lack of communication with the Lord on my recent church situation. The truth is, of course, it is 100% my fault. It is always hard when the Holy Spirit brings conviction like a train running you over at 90 mph. But what an awe-inspiring, humbling knowledge that He was right here all along just waiting for me to realize the truth so we could be best friends again and pick-up right where we left off...